Getting booty on vacation

This weekend, me along with three other aspiring journalists took a trip to New York for a journalism convention. The trip was half-work, half-play, and yet, short of my expectations.

It’s hard to say the word “vacation,” without thinking of the word “sex.” But sometimes, getting action on vacation is almost as hard as getting a Democrat to support the war.

Stepping foot on New York City’s soil, I imagined meeting a line of readily-available, hot, New York guys to choose from.

I was the typical wide-eyed tourist. I was mesmerized by the flashing lights and tall buildings, instead of hot, single, young New York men.

Getting laid on vacation is surprisingly hard (no pun intended), here’s why:

REASON #1 – You’re out of your comfort zone

Fort Lauderdale — just minutes away from my home — is a lot more comfortable then going out in Times Square. We all have our favorite place to go out and chances are, you’ll run in to someone you know, or at least recognize the bartender that served you the same drink last week.

I know exactly where to go and what area of the bar my favorite bartender is working at. There’s comfort in that sort of routine. Yet, in New York, I was the shy girl at the bar, taking in my surroundings, somewhat nervous about being out of my element.

It doesn’t make sense that I’m so shy, since I’m never going to see these people again.

REASON #2 – You don’t know who’s taken and who’s gay

A lisp can be easily covered by a New York accent. Going out to Boca’s Dubliner on Thursdays, you usually see the same people over and over. Or, you at least know someone that knows someone that can tell you what their “deal” is.

It’s not unusual to hear, “Oh, that’s Jimmy’s cousin’s ex-boyfriend, he once got arrested for public intoxication and I’m pretty sure he has the clap.”

REASON #3 – Not everyone is on vacation

It’s not like we’re all in Cancun on Spring Break where everyone is horny, drunk and partying within a 5-mile radius. New York, on the other hand, is a melting pot and everyone is doing their own thing. There is a huge mix ranging from business people to foreigners.

Not everyone here is out looking for some vacation booty; some simply are out for their Friday night out with the boys.

Here are some tips on how to find the vacation loopholes …(literally)

• PAY UP OR GO HOME: Guys, all you have to do is go up to a girl, buy them a drink (considering they are often expensive) and proceed.

• WHEN NATURE CALLS: Girls, when a guy comes up to you and offers you a drink, consider it a huge compliment. Think about it, they want you and it is much easier for a guy to hit on a girl than vice versa.

• EXPECT TO HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS: Girls, it’s okay if you have every intention of hooking up on your vacation, but don’t be disappointed if you don’t. It isn’t easy. Most of us are picky, and don’t know which one to go for.

• LUCKY STRIKE: Guys, you are a lucky breed. Picking up a girl on vacation is all on you. We are waiting for YOU to COME UP TO US. Unless we are trashed, we won’t go up to you. Vacation is a lot harder of a situation to get laid in.