Sticking to Your Instincts

Just recently a great friend of mine went through a breakup. We’ll call her Abby. Abby had a strong intuition about her relationship all along, yet ignored it. Her story really got me thinking about how important it is to listen to your instincts. Then I really started to think of all the obvious ways people can remind themselves to trust that voice in the back of their heads.

Abby is running through the streets. She’s sweating, running as fast as she can, pushing everyone out of her way. This girl is frantic, tired and anxious to get to her destination. Finally, she gets to the house where she stops dead in her tracks. As she gets home she hears what seems like two people having a lot of fun.
Slowly, she tip-toes towards the bedroom to see who these two horndogs are. As she creepily opens the door, the obvious is staring back at her.

It’s her boyfriend with another girl. White as a ghost, she stands there for a few seconds and takes it all in. Then, she walks out and leaves, but this time she’s not running, she’s walking with her head down in pure disgust and sadness. In a ball of sweat, she wakes up from this horrid dream.

Meet Abby, a hard-working, petite brunette with a great sense of humor. Abby had dreams like these throughout her entire relationship. Now that the relationship is over, Abby is back to herself again, happier than ever.

Abby’s story isn’t unique in any way. In fact, it wasn’t long before Abby found out the truth through a mutual friend about her ex-boyfriend’s cheating ways. Which got me thinking…if only she had listened to her intuition, things could have been different.

Looking back, I remember Abby complaining to me about this ex co-worker, we’ll call her Monica (think of her as Lewinsky for fun); telling me she had a weird vibe from her. Right there should have been the point where Abby listened to her gut. But it’s not always that easy. Here are some great ways to remind ourselves how important it is to listen to the little voice inside your head.

REMINDER #1 -
YOU THINK SOMETHING FOR A REASON - LISTEN TO YOUR THOUGHTS

If Abby had just one weird dream about the loser and Monica, oh well, coincidence, maybe even paranoia. But since Abby had a fewstrange dreams about the two being together, that would have been a great time to really start thinking. There are so many books out there claiming that our dreams are a medium with our gut instincts. How many times have you dreamt of something that afterwards really made sense?

There’s a reason your gut makes you think in a certain way. Unless you’re a bit looney, a lot of what you think should make sense.


REMINDER #2 –
EXCUSES ARE THE CHEAP REPLACEMENT FOR REALITY

For the most part, we’re all guilty of convincing our instincts otherwise. There’s always that one girl who just doesn’t see the obvious signs. If someone isn’t calling you back, it’s not because they are too in love with you, it’s probably because they simply don’t want to call you.

In other words, we know the right thing to do, for the most part, but we make up excuses so that we can do otherwise. You know you shouldn’t call him after already calling twice, but you still send him a text anyway. (Guilty as charged)

In He’s Just Not That into You, it mentions how, for the most part, when a girl meets a guy, “we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us. Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months...” We don’t want to hear it, and when I say “it” I mean your gut feeling.

Why listen to what you’re really thinking when it’s so much easier to ignore it. Everyone ignores their logic from time to time, why do homework when you can watch reruns of The Office?

Procrastinating is like masturbation, in the end, you’re only screwing yourself.

REMINDER #3 –
IF YOU CAN’T TRUST YOUR OWN INSTINCTS – LISTEN TO YOUR LOVED ONES

Think of your family members or close friends like the CEOs of your life. Your life equals their company (literally). They only want what’s best for their company and see things for what they are; not sugar coated. They have your best intentions at hand and only want the best for you.

Abby’s family never thought highly of her ex-boyfriend, but Abby just chose not to listen. Their intuitions were ignored by her tunnel vision.

Everyone should have those same intentions for themselves. If you already do, great, you should be proud of yourself. Otherwise, girls - wake up and smell the coffee. And how do you know its coffee? Because your intuitions assured you so. Don’t just sit around questioning whether or not it smells like coffee.

So before you start going crazy about what your gut feeling is telling you, here are some tips on when it’s intuition and not paranoia.

LISTEN UP - If he has a friend that’s a girl and they say “Hi” to each other whenever you two are out, seems totally fine. But if she’s calling him after midnight and he has to walk out of the room to answer the phone, listen to your gut.

EXCUSES ARE INTUITIONS’ ENEMY – There’s a difference between him working late once in a while and him working late every night coming home the next morning. Don’t make up excuses for the loser, let the obvious do the talking.

YOUR LOVED ONES ARE LOOKING OUT FOR YOU – If your mom wants you to date a doctor and doesn’t like your business-man boyfriend, whatever. But if your mom doesn’t like your boyfriend because she is seeing sketchiness oozing from his ears, pay attention to what she’s saying. Your loved ones don’t have tunneled vision they way you do.